MLS Update: LA vs. Houston

Finally, the MLS Cup is upon us: LA Galaxy and Houston Dynamo play for the coveted trophy on Dec. 1st at 4:30pm ET, a game that will slowly and painfully end the MLS season.

I have a huge beef with the MLS. A few years ago, I was excited for the MLS. Top players were flowing into the league, gameplay seemed to be less like little kid soccer and more like professional soccer, and the buzz about the league seemed to be growing. But today, I haven't thought of or heard about the MLS season until I stopped caring about my precious Red Bulls in August. Is that my problem? I'm not sure. But there is an argument to be made that a lackluster league did not hold my interest.

To me, the MLS season comes to the American population in four waves:
1. Genuine excitement at the very beginning of the season.
2. Bitter disappointment from after the fifth game until the point you realize your team is not making the playoffs.
3. Mild jubilation that there is actually a "cup final" in the USA.
4. Hatred and anger that the LA Galaxy are in the final.

The fault of this disinterest (mine at least) is based largely on the league's affinity to make this sport "American friendly." We still have a playoff structure, where winning the league tragically means nothing. I want to see a top of the table clash, last gasp goals meaning the league goes to LA or NY and relegation battles pitting all the crappy Canadian teams against each other. Why not have the European league setup then stroke America's ego with a cup competition? Because conforming to European fat cats is not the way of the Founding Fathers. But I'll have to say, as a huge fan of the sport, the way this league is structured pushes me away. Take that how you will.

Things to note about the Budweiser Cheetos Sony Allstate Fritos 2012 MLS Cup:
1. Houston is the Eastern Conference team, FYI. For some reason, this bothers me. I hear Houston, Texas, and think West. Stop bothering me with this, MLS. And stop making the final and complicating things, Houston.
2. The LA Galaxy just need to stop. They played so bad all year and now they're in a final (my above case in point). They are always in the final and never deserve it. Bias alert: New Yorker here; but still. LA Galaxy: just stop.
3. David Beckham announced it is his last game for the LA Galaxy... Okay. So what? No one cares, Beckham. You are three years and 3,000 promises to make this sport better past the point of caring. Good luck acting, because I'm sure that's where you're going.

I leave you with what we all hope to see on Dec. 1st:

Beckham dejection

Stayed tuned for more Beckham centric posts as he departs the MLS scene.

Commentators React To Ibra's Wonder Goal

Nice little compilation of a few excitable commentators reacting to Zlatan Ibrahimovic's wonder goal (aka the best goal ever scored).

Link to the sound bite via SoundCloud user Off The Ball

Top quote: "Oh my days, Zlatan Ibrahimovic... I wanna go and give you a man-hug!!!!"

Best Goal Ever Scored: Period

I almost just had to quit blogging...

Earlier today, I set up a hate post on PSG and Sweden striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I felt his recent pompousness deserved to be exposed.

But, thank goodness it went unfinished and unpublished, because Ibra decided to light everyone's life up during Sweden's friendly with England by scoring four goals, including an extra-time stunner: hands down the best goal ever scored. Did I mention it was his 100th cap?

Bravo Ibra, bravo. This is the best goal ever scored. If you deny it, you're saying a bike from 35 yards out is anything but the best. That just sounds foolish.

VOTE: For Your Favorite Midfielder

In light of the spirited election going on in the USA right now, I urge you, football fans, to vote for your favorite midfielder in the world: that candidate you'd like to see in the middle of the park donning your team's colors, representing change in the lineup and signaling hope for a title. Who is that midfielder for you?

Here are your candidates:

Daniele De Rossi

Why say no when it feels so good to say yes?

The marauding midfielder Daniele De Rossi promises to patrol your midfield with the tenacity and fight of 150 lions. That's 50 times the potency of England. If your midfield is lacking a middle-class hard-worker who also brings elegance to the position, vote Daniele. A vote for Daniele is a vote for the Beard of Pride.

Cristiano Ronaldo

"I'd vote for me."

The above message has been spoken and approved by Cristiano Ronaldo. You want a fast midfielder? You got it. You want a goal scorer? You got it. You want a good looking motherf*cker? You got it. Vote for Cristiano and he'll treat you right, baby.

Andres Iniesta

Hope for tiny balding men

Unlike the previous specimen on the ballot, looks don't matter to Andres Iniesta. He urges you to consider his vote, because even though he's small, balding and holding a strange award, he's just as good as the chump above. Iniesta: better than the other guy at soccer.
  
Xavi

Vote for me, the best Xavi.

The diminutive little big man aims to make your midfield the best in the world. He hopes to do so as the best Xavi in the world, better than those other Xavi(s). Think big, vote small: vote Xavi.

Xabi Alonso

Don't vote for that Xavi, vote for this Xabi!

He's played in the best league in the world and also won the Champions League, European Championships and World cup! He's just as good as that hack who uses a "v" instead of a "b" in his name. Priceless experience. Better looking guy. Better Xabi.

Bastian Schweinsteiger

"I am Bastian."

"I am Bastian." The robotic Munich midfield extraordinaire urges confidence and perpetual consistency in your midfield. His monotone campaign slogan is meant to mesmerize you into voting for him: "I am Bastian. I am Bastian. I am Bastian..." Germans.

Javier Zanetti

Running on education...

As a young boy, Javier Zanetti always dreamed of running a midfield. Now, as a man, he's done it. Winning the treble with Inter gave him the experience needed to make the difference in your midfield. He also believes in teaching fellow footballers how to read and will do so on your team! 1 goal education for all: vote Javier.

Steven Gerrard

Javier help with words

So you can't understand what he says?  Just vote for him anyway! The Scouse speaking, hard tackling, 30yd goal-thumping midfielder asks for your vote for a more aggressive and secure midfield. "Vhrrhte fer meh" -Steeven.  

Yaya Toure

Yeah Yeah

Vote twice! A yeah yeah for Yaya on election day 2012 could get your team a midfielder so acclaimed, he can wear huge beads around his neck without looking like a hippy! Not to mention his tenacity and skill will definitely make your team better. Vote for Yaya... Just say yeah yeah.

Paul Scholes

Vote for a wily veteran

With your vote, Sat-nav, as he's called, will furiously drag your team up from it's boot straps by using the guile and expertise gathered over a heralded career. Also he'll use the fury of his red hair. Vote for the red-headed dandy before he becomes too flustered to see.

Zinedine Zidane

Vote bald-head slick. Back from the dead.

Zizou is back. Only if you vote for him... The tactician is that candidate who is way too old to choose, but threw his hat in the ring at the disgust of the above list. Vote Zizou, because midfield's just aren't the same without him.

My vote: you guessed it, the marauding midfielder Daniele De Rossi. I elect that he stays on my team for another term. Who are you voting for?

Note: all midfielders were not listed on this ballot because I have a day job, people. So instead of being a moron and giving me a hard time about it, just suggest your candidate in the comments.


Photo Credits:
No photos are mine. All from the internet!
 

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween -- from Alessandro Del Piero! What are they feeding him in Australia?

If you can, enjoy some top fixtures on this spooky day:

Chelsea vs. Manchester United 
3:45pm EST, Capital One Cup

Norwich City vs. Tottenham
3:45pm EST, Capital One Cup

Liverpool vs. Swansea City
3:45pm EST, Capital One Cup

Parma vs. AS Roma
3:45pm EST, Serie A

Inter Milan vs. Sampdoria
3:45pm EST, Serie A

Wolfsburg vs. Frankfurt
3:30pm EST, German DFB Pokal Cup 

PSG vs. Marseille
3:55pm EST, French Coupe de la Ligue

Remember to have your parents check your candy before you eat it! Health and happiness to all.

Dutch Dandies of the Premier League

The other day I began reminiscing about the Premier League of my youth. As I counted my favorite stars from that era, it became evident that many of them were Dutch Dandies. Here are some of my faves:

Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink
The thunder-thighed Dutch forward remains etched in the minds of many English fans after a career filled with stunning strikes. People also remember him for his rock-star name.

Fun Fact: Jimmy Floyd's first name is actually Jerrel. While playing in Portugal, for some reason no one could say the word Jerrel, so everyone called him Jimmy Floyd instead.

Dennis Bergkamp
The silky-smooth striker seemed to slow the game down with the ball at his feet, allowing him time to outfox defenders and keepers alike. Have a look at this video showing all of his 120 goals at Arsenal: dizzying.

Fun fact: It is noted that the wily striker was not only brilliant on the field, but in the classroom, earning a degree in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Bath while at Arsenal.

Marc Overmars
The Arsenal faithful were over the moon for Overmars. The midfielder was regaled for his pace down the left flank, not to mention his service into the box. I fondly recall a poster of the young gun with a look of guile in his eye hanging on the wall of a friends room growing up.

Fun Fact: Overmars is BBFF (Bergkamp's Best Friend Forever). Also his nickname was "the Roadrunner."

Edgar Davids
The pit-bull of a player, famed for his dreads and protective sunglasses, was a solid midfielder. In his day, Davids' marking abilities were second to none, making him an instant hit at White Hart Lane with the Spurs. In addition, his sunglasses always made me believe he was a member of the Xmen.

Fun Fact: To my surprise, I read the bullish midfielder currently captains and coaches Football League Two side Barnet. Interesting.

Ruud van Nistelrooy
I'm not ashamed to say that growing up I had a poster featuring Ruud, "the man with the golden boot" at Old Trafford. Van Nistelrooy's uncanny ability to be present and poised in front of goal have few rivals. During his time with the Red Devils he was dominate, scoring 150 goals in 220 games. The most shocking thing about his time in England, to me, is that he was actually sold!

Fun Fact: Let this video say it all: Ruud Celebration

Edwin van der Sar
The gangly Dutchman made his name through consistent, reliable goalkeeping. Quick to react and always in the right place, van der Sar is one of the most successful keepers in history. He provided dedicated service to the Fulham faithful before moving over to Manchester United, ultimately winning the Champions League and countless titles.

Fun Fact: Van der Sar has three sons, named Huey, Luey and Duey. Actually, that's fiction, I couldn't really find anything fun about the stoic shot stopper.

Jaap Stam
Another United boy, the cue-ball headed Stam served the Old Trafford faithful with a display of stalwart defending. In his three years with the Red Devils, he won three EPL titles, an FA Cup and the Champions League. Not too bad for man that bald.

Fun Fact: Once upon a time when Jaap Stam was a little boy, he was wandering in the woods of Holland and came across a log cabin. He reckoned that this log cabin was the very same one that became Hansel and Gretel's downfall, which immediately caused the young Stam to be so scared that he lost his hair then and forever. That is also fiction. Probably just male pattern baldness.

Arjen Robben
Much to my surprise, when Arjen Robben hit the scene in the Premier League with Chelsea I realized he was only in his early 20s. Another Dutch baldy! That aside, Robben's zeal down the wing for the Blues in the mid-2000s helped them capture a coveted Premier League title.

Arjen during better days

Fun Fact: Arjen Robben supposedly had hair. Note above reference.

Those are some of my favorite Dutch players from the bygone era. Anyone I missed? Comment below.

Welcome Back to the Stage of History...

Hello my friends. Let me explain:

A long hiatus enjoying summer eventually rolled into an autumn full of FIFA '13, which has kept my finger tips and imagination away from my baby, Sensible Soccer, for far too long. But all that's about to end, friends. I'm back. And I've got ideas.

Take it away. Gigi:

Stay tuned.