Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Classic Soccer Beards: Vote For Your Favorite!

Winter break is upon us, amici. As the time for family, friends, and holiday cheer beckons, take a moment to vote on who has the best soccer beard in history! And here are your candidates:

A heavy favorite in the "Best Mullet and Beard" category, the Brazilian maestro known for keeping a well-organized midfield and firing some stunning strikes from distance, definitely had a sweet beard. I am hoping he still has one in his later years.

Djibril Cissé
What is this man? The French enigma always has something strange happening on his head. This is hardly the weirdest picture I found! Unfortunately votes for Djibril will not count, since I don't think he's human.

George Best
The focal point of Manchester United's early triumphs and, much like my other Northern Irish comrades, the fond admirer of more than few pints, Georgie Best was also widely known for the furious beard pictured above. It looks as though Best had his head completely immersed in hair and had to shave around his eyes and cheeks on a daily basis to look normal. Damn, that deserves extra points for determination.

Olof Mellberg
This, my friends, is the definition of a luscious beard. Hell, the stalwart Swede might even have to use conditioner on that baby after a rigorous shampooing. The experienced Olympiacos defender certainly has one of the best beards out there.

Alexi Lalas
I know what you're thinking: this isn't Alexi Lalas, this is the frontman for Metallica. But no, rest assured, it's pure Lalas! The smooth-faced, argumentative, patriotic wind-bag we know today sported (as I'm sure you all know) some wild fiery facial hair in his heyday. Note: Lalas could have been omitted from this list because technically, he had a goatee, but I feel the hair to goatee to mutton chop ratio saved Alexi's grace on this list.  

Daniele De Rossi
Il capitano futuro of Roma is a late bloomer in the beard game, but gaining some serious momentum. DDR has a solid beard, but what makes him a stellar candidate is his marauding and screaming nature. This amplifies the intensity of his beard, 1,000 fold. The Italian has taken a liking to his beard, so I'm sure we will be captivated by it for years to come.

Damiano Tommasi
Because of his wild hair and beard, Damiano Tommasi was by far one of the easiest players to identify without seeing a number or name in early 2000 FIFA's. That alone warrants this list. The Italy international and Roman kept his beautiful beard and unkempt locks throughout his career and he's calling for your vote.

Christoph Metzelder
The ever-reliable German defender was almost left off my list, due to his affinity to shave. But, I admire Metzelder's absolute imperative beard growth while playing on the world's stage with the German national team. I don't think I've ever seen him without a beard in the colors of Deutschland.

Archie Gimmell 
Best known for his brilliant solo goal for Scotland against Holland in the 1978 World Cup, Gimmell took the pitch with what appeared to be a fat lumberjacks beard. It looks like there should be food somewhere in that mess of hair! For some strange reason he reminds me of my Dad. Next contestant. 

Abel Xavier
How did you get on the list Mr. Xavier? Oh, you're a friend of Djibril? No kidding. The globe trotting defender who ended his career with the Galaxy has quite the Cissesque look. Match that with ridiculous bleached hair and he's obviously on this list.

David Beckham
No competition on style would be complete without the sport's most renowned figure and fashonista, David Beckham. Though Becks may have a different style every day, the man does front a pretty sweet beard. Will he win another award? You be the judge.

Please cast your vote out of the 11 listed and then suggest any player I missed! And get started on those winter beards for goodness sake.


  1. I cast my vote for George Best.. I'd also nominate Wayne Rooney's beard from the Nike "Write the Future" commercials that aired before the World Cup. That one can't be touched.

  2. i would have to say that I have the best beard, but since you forgot to nominate me, my vote's for socrates - you cannot go wrong with the mullet/beard combo of a man named after a greek philosopher.

  3. Great points, Kate! I haven't decided yet, but the philosopher name and sweet hair weighs heavy. And your beard's getting better?!

  4. you forgot about gattuso.

  5. I considered Gattuso, but he has more of the crusader goatee these days. I guess he should have been added though.

  6. if gattuso is not in the running then i vote for de rossi.

  7. oh yeah, and an honorable mention goes to giuseppe favalli, who looks like a magician:

  8. De Rossi's beard is better than Gattuso's ever was. Not to mention he looks like a mix of that guy from the Lord of the Rings and a ghoul from Fallout in the picture above