After reviewing the 2010-11 Numerous Exploits of Mario Balotelli, it seems I am poised to have a first entry on the 2011-12 review of Super Mario. See video evidence, below:
Hilarious! What a horrible back-heel try in a preparation game ahead of the arduous Premier League season! Poor Roberto Mancini - he has had to, on many occasions, play Mario's disappointed dad, as seen here through the immediate subbing out and dressing down of his troubled striker.
But why is everyone shocked? Balotelli does stuff like this all the time! What would Balotelli not do? That is the question.
Keep stirring the pot, Mario! I support your brand of comedy.
Showing posts with label Manchester City. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manchester City. Show all posts
Monday, July 25, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The King, Has Returned...
Hi all:
After a month of relentlessly searching for an apartment, finding one, paying for one, packing, moving, unpacking, and living - I am back and it feels good! Now that I am all settled, let me tell you about certain things in world football that are unsettling to me at the moment:
Barcelona
They have won it all. Everything. Their players are the best ever. Their team is the best ever. And I am tired of it. I am fed up with their success and style of play. Sick of it! Just when I thought some Barca-relief was on its way after the season ended, quite the opposite has occurred, as every news source indicates any player, anywhere, of any age, is tied to a summer move to Barcelona. Any semi-large move in world football has at least two teams interested in the player: Team X and Barcelona. For more on that, see below.
Transfer Sagas
The summer window is a super-exciting time to be a football fan. Each hour, die-hardistas like myself sit on the edge of our seats and pray to Pele himself that the next big star will put pen to paper for our team, not Lazio merda. Along with this on-the-edge prayfest, comes the long, drawn-out sagas that will capture headlines for weeks, months, or even the whole summer. Here are some of those sagas:
Another summer, another saga. Will Cesc Fabregas finally leave Arsenal for Barcelona (or the Mets)?! The young captain's future was made clear, in a muddled way, as he was omitted from Arsenal's new kit photo-shoot earlier this week. Football pundits see this as a great big sign that Cesc will leave. My opinion: I think they are right.
Alexis Sanchez Udinese
Price tag €35M - €45M
The Chilean winger has certainly caused quite the coup on football's front pages as of late, with both Manchester teams and Barcelona, naturally, interested in the player. Sanchez has publicly stated it's Barca or bust, and the Catalan giants have put in their final bid for the player (supposedly). Will this drag on? I'd wager he leaves Udine and gets dumped into the talent ocean in Barcelona.
Neymar Santos
Price tag €40M - €50M
We might never see the end of the Neymar saga which means we might never see the end of a rooster haircut appearing on our browser every single day, at any time of the day. The talented young Brazilian, who apparently has the Midas Touch, is wanted by five clubs: Real Madrid, Barcelona, Chelsea, Manchester City and the Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala. I'm not sure where the young gun will end up, but frankly, I'm too tired of hearing about him to care.
Javier Pastore Palermo
Price tag €30M - €50M
Argentine hitman Javier Pastore could certainly be headed for an exit this summer, but to where, I know not. Palermo President Mauro Zamparini seems willing to let the player go and is up to his old, not-so-sly tricks of asking for ridiculous amounts of money for players, then randomly accepting less. Pastore should make a move, but who knows with a crazy old man pulling the strings.
Charlie Adam Blackpool
Price tag Who cares?
Despite all the big money moves on the line in world football, nothing makes me more angry than constantly seeing rumors about Charlie Adam. It started during the winter window: he was going to Liverpool for sure but the move fell through at the penultimate moment. Now here we are again: he's going to Liverpool but the move has stalled because blammo, Chelsea and Spurs are in the mix! Is this player really worth all this speculation? Please stop.
The Gold Cup
I know the Gold Cup is not tremendous news to those around world football, but to us Americans, it's pretty much all we had this summer. Which is why I am sad to say, it sucked bad. The USMNT played sub-par the whole tournament on their way to getting smashed by their fiercest rival Mexico, again. Bob Bradley seemed to have no grasp of his lineup and fielded a few question marks consistently.
I agree with Sweat Pants Bob on benching leading USMNT scorer of all time Landon Donovan for the match in which he arrived from his sister's wedding at 7am on gameday, but the rest of the games? Are you kidding me?
FIFA's new rankings came out and supporters of American soccer should have cringed when they saw the top ten: 9. Mexico. Our benchmark just jumped into the top ten! We're in the top 25 though...barely. I think it is time for some changes in the national team camp. Sorry to say, but I think Bob Bradley must go.
Well, that's all that's bothering me at the moment. Stay tuned for some more regular Sensible Soccer posts!
After a month of relentlessly searching for an apartment, finding one, paying for one, packing, moving, unpacking, and living - I am back and it feels good! Now that I am all settled, let me tell you about certain things in world football that are unsettling to me at the moment:
Barcelona
They have won it all. Everything. Their players are the best ever. Their team is the best ever. And I am tired of it. I am fed up with their success and style of play. Sick of it! Just when I thought some Barca-relief was on its way after the season ended, quite the opposite has occurred, as every news source indicates any player, anywhere, of any age, is tied to a summer move to Barcelona. Any semi-large move in world football has at least two teams interested in the player: Team X and Barcelona. For more on that, see below.
Transfer Sagas
The summer window is a super-exciting time to be a football fan. Each hour, die-hardistas like myself sit on the edge of our seats and pray to Pele himself that the next big star will put pen to paper for our team, not Lazio merda. Along with this on-the-edge prayfest, comes the long, drawn-out sagas that will capture headlines for weeks, months, or even the whole summer. Here are some of those sagas:
Cesc Fabregas Arsenal
Price Tag €30M - €40M
 |
| Fabregas fuels speculation of a move to the New York Mets ... |
Alexis Sanchez Udinese
Price tag €35M - €45M
The Chilean winger has certainly caused quite the coup on football's front pages as of late, with both Manchester teams and Barcelona, naturally, interested in the player. Sanchez has publicly stated it's Barca or bust, and the Catalan giants have put in their final bid for the player (supposedly). Will this drag on? I'd wager he leaves Udine and gets dumped into the talent ocean in Barcelona.
 |
| Future star/got2be spokesman |
Price tag €40M - €50M
We might never see the end of the Neymar saga which means we might never see the end of a rooster haircut appearing on our browser every single day, at any time of the day. The talented young Brazilian, who apparently has the Midas Touch, is wanted by five clubs: Real Madrid, Barcelona, Chelsea, Manchester City and the Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala. I'm not sure where the young gun will end up, but frankly, I'm too tired of hearing about him to care.
Javier Pastore Palermo
Price tag €30M - €50M
Argentine hitman Javier Pastore could certainly be headed for an exit this summer, but to where, I know not. Palermo President Mauro Zamparini seems willing to let the player go and is up to his old, not-so-sly tricks of asking for ridiculous amounts of money for players, then randomly accepting less. Pastore should make a move, but who knows with a crazy old man pulling the strings.
Charlie Adam Blackpool
Price tag Who cares?
Despite all the big money moves on the line in world football, nothing makes me more angry than constantly seeing rumors about Charlie Adam. It started during the winter window: he was going to Liverpool for sure but the move fell through at the penultimate moment. Now here we are again: he's going to Liverpool but the move has stalled because blammo, Chelsea and Spurs are in the mix! Is this player really worth all this speculation? Please stop.
The Gold Cup
I know the Gold Cup is not tremendous news to those around world football, but to us Americans, it's pretty much all we had this summer. Which is why I am sad to say, it sucked bad. The USMNT played sub-par the whole tournament on their way to getting smashed by their fiercest rival Mexico, again. Bob Bradley seemed to have no grasp of his lineup and fielded a few question marks consistently.
I agree with Sweat Pants Bob on benching leading USMNT scorer of all time Landon Donovan for the match in which he arrived from his sister's wedding at 7am on gameday, but the rest of the games? Are you kidding me?
FIFA's new rankings came out and supporters of American soccer should have cringed when they saw the top ten: 9. Mexico. Our benchmark just jumped into the top ten! We're in the top 25 though...barely. I think it is time for some changes in the national team camp. Sorry to say, but I think Bob Bradley must go.
Well, that's all that's bothering me at the moment. Stay tuned for some more regular Sensible Soccer posts!
Friday, May 27, 2011
2010-11 Player Review: The Numerous Exploits of Mario Balotelli
Mario Balotelli had quite the interesting year following his switch from Inter Milan to Manchester City over the summer. The troubled 20-year-old Italian never ceases to amaze with his on and off the field antics. Lets see what Super Mario was up to:
Aug. 13, 2010: Mario Balotelli signs for Manchester City. The transfer fee was £24m. The move represents a new start for the troubled young striker, whose year's at Inter were marred with controversy. A new chapter opens in the life of Super Mario.
Sept. 25, 2011: The 20-year-old gets pulled over by police with £25,000 cash in his car...when asked why he is carrying so much money, Balotelli responds: "Because I'm rich."
Oct. 2, 2010: Balotelli and his brother drive into a women's prison. Reports state the Balotelli brothers saw the gate open and never imagined they would need a permit to drive up to the front door. After being recognized, the officers let the two off. The police commented that both seemed to be particularly intrigued by the fact that it was a women's prison. Balotelli's reasoning for the breif visit: "I told my brother: 'Do you want to see a prison?' Then I went in."
Oct. 3, 2010: Super Mario returns to Italy and flips off supporters at a match between Inter and Juventus.
Dec. 21, 2010: Balotelli named best young player in Europe and expresses extreme confusion at who his second place adversary is:
"What's his name? Wil ... ? No, I don't know him, but the next time I play against Arsenal I will keep a close eye on him. Perhaps I can show him about the Golden Boy trophy and remind him that I won it."
His name is Jack Wilshere.
Jan. 18, 2011: Super Mario takes a dig at Manchester United's Wayne Rooney, claiming: "He [Rooney] is a very good player but not the best [striker] in Manchester."
Jan. 19, 2011: Cristiano Ronaldo, jealous that Mario commands the headlines, tells Balotell to "speak less and play more."
March 10, 2011: Blades of grass cause the young Italian to be withdrawn from City's first leg knockout match with Dynamo Kiev after 57 minutes. Allergic to grass as a footballer? You might be in the wrong profession, Mario.
March 17, 2011: Balotelli struggles to put on his training bib...for about two minutes:
March 17, 2011 cont'd: Edin Dzeko makes fun of Mario Balotelli's bib problem:
You know you are foolish when a tall, awkward, doofus is making fun of you and getting laughs out of it.
March 21, 2011: Mario admits to Italian national team coach Cesare Prandelli the he "needs help" because he always ruins everything, but cares about being in La Nazionale. Aww.
Aug. 13, 2010: Mario Balotelli signs for Manchester City. The transfer fee was £24m. The move represents a new start for the troubled young striker, whose year's at Inter were marred with controversy. A new chapter opens in the life of Super Mario.
Sept. 25, 2011: The 20-year-old gets pulled over by police with £25,000 cash in his car...when asked why he is carrying so much money, Balotelli responds: "Because I'm rich."
Oct. 2, 2010: Balotelli and his brother drive into a women's prison. Reports state the Balotelli brothers saw the gate open and never imagined they would need a permit to drive up to the front door. After being recognized, the officers let the two off. The police commented that both seemed to be particularly intrigued by the fact that it was a women's prison. Balotelli's reasoning for the breif visit: "I told my brother: 'Do you want to see a prison?' Then I went in."
Oct. 3, 2010: Super Mario returns to Italy and flips off supporters at a match between Inter and Juventus.
Dec. 21, 2010: Balotelli named best young player in Europe and expresses extreme confusion at who his second place adversary is:
"What's his name? Wil ... ? No, I don't know him, but the next time I play against Arsenal I will keep a close eye on him. Perhaps I can show him about the Golden Boy trophy and remind him that I won it."
His name is Jack Wilshere.
Jan. 18, 2011: Super Mario takes a dig at Manchester United's Wayne Rooney, claiming: "He [Rooney] is a very good player but not the best [striker] in Manchester."
Jan. 19, 2011: Cristiano Ronaldo, jealous that Mario commands the headlines, tells Balotell to "speak less and play more."
March 10, 2011: Blades of grass cause the young Italian to be withdrawn from City's first leg knockout match with Dynamo Kiev after 57 minutes. Allergic to grass as a footballer? You might be in the wrong profession, Mario.
March 17, 2011: Balotelli struggles to put on his training bib...for about two minutes:
March 17, 2011 cont'd: Edin Dzeko makes fun of Mario Balotelli's bib problem:
You know you are foolish when a tall, awkward, doofus is making fun of you and getting laughs out of it.
March 17, 2011 cont'd: With a bib on mind, Balotelli destroys Man City's European hope by getting a straight red in the 36th minute of the second leg knockout match against Kiev, after a chest-high lunge. How did Coach Roberto Mancini react? "He [Mancini] called me an idiot. He shouted that he wished he'd never signed me." Sick burn.
March 21, 2011: Mario admits to Italian national team coach Cesare Prandelli the he "needs help" because he always ruins everything, but cares about being in La Nazionale. Aww.
March 25, 2011: While dining in a posh city centre restaurant, Balotelli notices Wayne Rooney's alleged hooker...and says hi by yelling "ROONEY, ROONEY" across the restaurant, before approaching the woman and blowing a raspberry in the face of her companion.
March 27, 2011: Balotelli throws darts at Manchester City's Youth Team players through a first floor window at the club's training complex because he is "bored." Gotta do somethin' when you're bored!
April 6, 2011: The play-maker challenges several bouncers outside of a Manchester night club, continually goading and laughing at them, until one of them hit his Maserati repeatedly with a metal torch.
April 16, 2011: Following the club's crucial win over city rivals Man Utd in the FA Cup Semifinal, Balotelli raucously celebrates in a taunting manner in front of United's faithful.
April 20, 2011: Luck strikes Balotelli at a local casino, earning him a cool £25,000, of which he gives £1,000 to a homeless man outside on the street.
April 25, 2011: The young Italian accrues parking fines of over £10,000 for having his car impounded over 27 times. Club staff report having to retrieve Balotelli's Maserati time and again out of the impound lot, as he will "drive from his luxury apartment to a restaurant a few streets away and leave the car on double yellows," for instance.
May 8, 2011: Balotelli retracts earlier statement about Rooney:
“When I was at Inter I saw Rooney and I didn’t think he was a really, really good player. But now I see Manchester United matches properly, I think he is one of the best."
May 9, 2011: After learning an autograph seeker is being bullied, Mario drives the young lad to his school and demands a meeting with the headteacher. After discovering the bullies identity, Balotelli makes the two shake hands.
May 14, 2011: Following City's FA Cup final victory, the ever-so-tactful striker curses on live TV:
May 14, 2011: Following City's FA Cup final victory, the ever-so-tactful striker curses on live TV:
May 23, 2011: Mario baffles club officials by requesting that pet dog Lucky, a black Labrador, join him atop Manchester City's celebratory bus during the FA Cup trophy parade.
May 23, 2011: Balotelli wins City's Young Player of the Year award, but fails to show up to the ceremony, forcing Micah Richards to awkwardly accept the award on his behalf.
May 24, 2011: Balotelli and Lucky skip Man City's FA Cup trophy parade.
Season Long: Over the year, Balotelli collected fines over £300,000 and had training ground bust ups with Carlos Tevez, Jerome Boateng, and Vincent Kompany.
I'm not even making this up! Mario Balotelli is hilarious. Is anyone else waiting to see this reality TV show? All in all, I would say the young Italian is just that: young. But lets hope he continues his ridiculous antics in the future.
Mario, I'm a fan.
May 23, 2011: Balotelli wins City's Young Player of the Year award, but fails to show up to the ceremony, forcing Micah Richards to awkwardly accept the award on his behalf.
May 24, 2011: Balotelli and Lucky skip Man City's FA Cup trophy parade.
Season Long: Over the year, Balotelli collected fines over £300,000 and had training ground bust ups with Carlos Tevez, Jerome Boateng, and Vincent Kompany.
 |
| This explains what Roberto Mancini has dealt with this season |
Mario, I'm a fan.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Congratulations Are In Order
Congratulations to the city of Manchester: the city of champions!
Both Manchester teams won silverware on Saturday; Manchester United securing their record 19th English Premier League title and Manchester City lifting the FA Cup, their first trophy in 35 years. Even though these bitter city rivals despise one another, we can all agree two title triumphs on the same day in the same city is pretty sweet. Enough with the pundits who have written "United's Premier League title has marred City's victory." Give me a break! They are both basking in their trophies!
The cups:
Both Manchester teams won silverware on Saturday; Manchester United securing their record 19th English Premier League title and Manchester City lifting the FA Cup, their first trophy in 35 years. Even though these bitter city rivals despise one another, we can all agree two title triumphs on the same day in the same city is pretty sweet. Enough with the pundits who have written "United's Premier League title has marred City's victory." Give me a break! They are both basking in their trophies!
The cups:
 |
| Evra and Nani hoist the EPL balloon trophy replica - the real one will be presented at OT |
 |
| Man City lift the coveted FA Cup |
The player's ridiculous antics:
 |
| Rooney...oh Rooney |
 |
| Tevez acting silly Balotelli cursing on live TV after the game...gotta love him! |
Kudos to the teams from Manchester and congrats to their fans.
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